First off, I want to apologize for the length – and maybe quality – of this article. I have a bad case of the kidney stones which isn't doing me any favors in getting the creative juices flowing. I'm having a hard time staying focused, but I'm going to do my best to make this week's Sledge's Edge at least a 3 out of 5. Bare with me, guys, I'm hurtin'.

After months of speculation, “Project Rumble” has finally been revealed. For those that need a refresher course, there were rumors going around for the last six months or so that Universal Studios Florida would be getting a new roller coaster. The code name was “Project Rumble” and everyone suspected it would be a coaster. Not much was known about the theming or story of the ride, so everyone was left guessing what it might be.

When it was revealed earlier this week as a new coaster called Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rockit, where you selected the on-ride music, many were a bit disappointed. For starters, the theme is weak and is essentially just a roller coaster with on-ride audio. The theme doesn’t really fit into a park like Universal Studios Florida, not to mention the fact that the type of attraction is better suited for Islands of Adventure. A lot of people are even disappointed that the attraction doesn’t some how tie into a popular movie or television show to continue the park’s trend.

For starters, I find the name to be terrible. No one is going to say, “Let’s go ride Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rockit.” It’s just going to be ‘Rockit’, which is still dumb. When I hear ‘Rockit’ it reminds me of Space Mountain in Disneyland. During Grad Night in 2006, Tomorrowland premiered a special nighttime version of Space Mountain called RockIT Mountain where the soundtrack changed to rock music instead of the regular daytime audio. At least we know the ‘Rip’ part of the ‘Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rockit’ name is referring to rip-ping off the name of Disneyland’s rock music roller coaster.

Don’t get me wrong, I am excited for a new roller coaster, especially one like this where we can select our own on-board audio. I always wondered when Disney was going to allow riders to choose the song they wanted to hear on Rock n’ Roller Coaster. Perhaps if this goes well for Universal, Disney will attempt something similar with the Aerosmith tracks they have access to already.

I am excited, but my biggest concern – other than the name – is where it is going. I don’t think this attraction has any business being in Universal Studios, but I also don’t think the theme could fit anywhere in Islands of Adventure either. I think the ride would be much better off themed to a popular movie instead.

What about this? You board your vehicle which you think is just your typical roller coaster, only to realize a few moments later that the very vehicle you are sitting in is actually an evil Decepticon – from the Transformers – in disguise. It is then up to the Autobots to save you from the out of control coaster that wants to wreck havoc on the human race.

Hell. People miss King Kong, why not bring him back and make a King Kong ride? They can call it “King Kong: Going Ape $#@&.” He’s back and he’s pissed that his ride was removed to make way for Revenge of the Mummy. Sounds perfect. Universal apparently has no problems with long names, although everyone would just say, “Let’s go ride Ape $#@&”.

In all seriousness, this will be a great addition to the park regardless of if the theming fits or not. To the average guests it doesn’t matter anyway. It should really help balance the thrills between Universal Studios Florida and Islands of Adventure. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed that they don’t get Fall Out Boy to do the music.

jason@orlandounited.com